


Burning The Candle On Both Ends

by lisachan



Series: Leoverse [215]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 09:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20374846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisachan/pseuds/lisachan
Summary: After hearing about the dead of the kid from a gang rival to the one Adam's infiltrating in, Jesse, his handler, calls him in for a meeting to try and understand what's going on. The fact is, what's going on is amess, and Adam has no idea how to handle it.





	Burning The Candle On Both Ends

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Keep Your Sexuality Fluid (You Never Know When You Might Need It)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6188579) by [lisachan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisachan/pseuds/lisachan). 

> **WARNING:** This story is an **AU** from the original 'verse. What happens in here has little to none correlation with what happens in Leonard Karofsky-Hummel VS The world or Broken Heart Syndrome. The characters involved are (mostly) the same, but situations and relationships between them may be completely different.  
Second installment of the Undercoververse! Hope you still remember the first (if not, the link is right at the top! Or at the bottom! Whichever way you go!) and you enjoy this.

The place is crowded, and Adam pretends he wouldn’t have preferred a quieter one. He does that because Jesse seems perfectly at ease and he doesn’t wanna give him the idea of being agitated, even though he is. The negative consequence of this is that he’s starting to hate him – he’s so nervous he could climb the walls of this restaurant with his bare hands, and there Jesse is, carving lobster meat out of its shell with a knife while the smell of lemon mixed with orange and thyme impregnates the air around them, like they were good friends meeting for lunch after a few months of silence.

The only positive thing is that there’s no chance one of Anderson’s men will spot them here. This is one of the priciest and most exclusive restaurants of the city, you don’t even get to set foot inside it if not after booking your table and surviving a waiting list of more or less six months – unless you’re FBI, naturally. He doesn’t see any of the men he’s been sharing a dorm with tonight passing by this place by chance, so at least he’s safe. And that’s probably why Jesse asked him to meet here.

“Are you sure you’re alright with just potatoes?”

“Yeah, I’m not hungry,” Adam answers aggressively without thinking about it.

He doesn’t know why he’s being so confrontational – he knows Jesse’s only doing his job. He has directives coming straight from captain Vanderbilt, and if she says they’ve got to meet in a restaurant such as this, and eat lobster like all the other spoiled brats and old pervs sitting at the other tables not to stand out, he’s got to arrange everything so that they do it. 

Still, Adam always feels painfully clearly how detached police reality and undercover reality truly are. And in moments such as this that distance is even wider, almost unbridgeable. 

“Your mom was worried about you,” Jesse says casually, “She wanted me to ask you if you’re okay.”

Adam already knew what was the point of this meeting, even before Jesse scheduled a time and place for it. Captain Vanderbilt must’ve heard about the dead kid, she knew he was involved in the attack, she probably wants to know more of it.

Adam’s supposed to answer in code to this. To describe the situation in terms Jesse and only Jesse can understand. That’s what they’ve always done, all the other times Adam went undercover and Jesse handled him. They’ve formed a special connection that allows Jesse to read the true tale behind his cover words, and gather all necessary information to see the painting clearly and report it to captain Vanderbilt.

This time, it’s not gonna happen.

“I’m fine,” Adam simply answers, playing with his baked potatoes.

The truth is, he isn’t. He’s been undercover less than a month and he’s already taken drugs, fucked a whore, killed a person and helped out cleaning up the place of the killing before the police could get there, to cover his tracks.

Other agents would’ve been pulled out for just the first item on the long list of his misdeeds, but not him. Because the FBI still knows nothing – or very little – about it.

He knows he must tell Jesse. If there’s one person in the whole world he wants to speak with about this, and if there’s one person in the whole world he knows would take care of him even after hearing all about it, that’s Jesse – but he’s ashamed. He was born as an undercover agent and he was trained for years to become the best. He took part to three other operations before this, all between three and eight months long, and he’s always been successful, his behavior flawless, not a single spot on his resume. But this time something’s different, and he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s facing people completely unlike those he encountered in his other undercover missions, or if the harsh truth is just that he messed up, and all of this is his fault.

In any case, Jesse’s not happy with his answer. He casts him a dubious look and frowns deeply, taking another bite out of the lobster.

“And how are things going at work?” he insists, “Did you get the promotion you were waiting for?”

Adam tenses a little. “Not yet,” he says. This is another chance to say more, to answer in more details, to make sure Jesse understands what’s really going on.

Once again, he doesn’t take it, and he adds nothing.

This time, Jesse expresses his disappointment far more vocally. He puts down the fork and knife with a loud thud, and looks at him sternly. “What’s wrong with you?” he asks, “The cat ate your tongue?”

“I’m answering your questions,” Adam answers, avoiding his gaze.

“You’re saying words, you’re not answering,” Jesse precises, “You’re hiding something.”

“You already know most of the things you’re asking about,” Adam points out, turning back to look at him, annoyed.

“I want to hear it from you,” Jesse says, and Adam snorts, looking away once again. He should say something and he doesn’t. He’s already in trouble and he’s doing nothing to help himself. Luckily, Jesse’s not there to allow this to continue. “Okay,” he grumbles, standing up abruptly, “I can see you’re not hungry and you don’t wanna talk. So let’s go do what we met to do.”

Adam frowns, uncertain. This is the first time Jesse says something like this, and he’s not sure what it means. “Which is?”

Jesse waves his hand in mid-air, ignoring his question. “Come on, let’s go,” he says. Adam vaguely thinks about the bill and wonders if the FBI has a tab in this restaurant, and how much does it cost to the bureau monthly, but he lets go of it quite fast. He leaves his practically untouched potatoes in their bowl, puts his hoodie on and walks out in the streets, beside Jesse.

He’s wearing mirrored shades and the surroundings reflect on his lenses like sunlight reflects on his sheer blonde hair. There’s something hard about his expression and Adam wonders if he’s even more in trouble than he thought he was.

When Jesse finally stops, ten minutes later or so, the place he chooses to do it is so surprising that Adam doesn’t take the hint, and keeps walking for a few more seconds, before finally turning back. Jesse stands still, his expression unchanged, in front of a cheap hotel door, and Adam looks at the ruined sign hanging above them, and then back at his handler, and for a second his brain stops working and he is unable to reconcile the two pictures.

“What are we doing here?” he asks uncertainly.

Jesse shrugs. “I’ve missed you,” he simply says.

Adam shivers and then swallows. Are they still talking in code? “...you’re my cousin,” he says tentatively. He would like to add that at least he’s supposed to, but if someone was listening to them they’d get wind of the charade, and that would be dangerous, so he stands silently still, waiting for Jesse’s answer.

He takes off his sunglasses and looks at him intently for a few seconds. “I still love you,” he says, and Adam swallows and, when Jesse opens up the door, he follows him up the short flight of stairs leading up to the reception.

He knows Jesse only said those words to keep up appearances and protect his secret identity in case someone dangerous was listening, but they still touched him in a way Adam isn’t sure to be able to define. Something was confusing about it, something strangely made his brain create a mysterious connection with Cody and made him think of him for a moment, which resulted in even more confusion. Now he’s climbing the stairs up to the room with the number Jesse requested to the receptionist, and he can’t even look up at him.

The moment they reach the room, Jesse locks the door and then exhales, and for a second everything is quiet and Adam wonders what’s going to happen and if he should be afraid. Then hell breaks loose, and Jesse starts screaming.

“What the fuck is going on with you?!” he yells, pushing him with both hands, making him withdraw a few inches, “A kid got wounded during the fight yesterday, they broke his head open like a fucking watermelon and now he’s dead! What happened?”

Adam tenses and looks down, clutching his hands in fists. They’re shaking, and Jesse notices.

“...Adam,” he says in a suddenly lower voice, “You had nothing to do with it, right?”

Adam looks back up at him, his lips a thin nervous line cutting his face in uneven halves. “I didn’t want it to happen,” he says, his voice shaky, “I hit him, but I didn’t think I hit him so hard.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Adam, how could you not hit so hard with a baseball bat?!”

“Hey-- no,” Adam frowns, shaking his head, “I didn’t use any weapon. I hit him with my fist.”

“That’s not what the coroner had to say about it.”

“Jesse!” he reaches out and grabs him by his shoulders with both hands, shaking him a little. “I’m telling you I didn’t use a weapon. I hit the kid and I will take full responsibility for what happened, but I never used a weapon of any kind against him. I swear. Be fair.”

Jesse looks at him, straight in his eyes, for the longest time. Then he moves away with an annoyed sound, pacing the room. “I’ll ask the coroner to review his assessment. Shit...” he stops in the middle of the room and covers his face with both hands, inhaling and exhaling. “I’ll have to tell Vanderbilt it was you, do you realize it?”

“I do,” Adam stiffens up, his arms straight and tense down his sides, “That’s why I said--”

“You’d take full responsibility, right,” Jesse sighs, “You know that being undercover doesn’t exempt you from behaving lawfully, Adam. Don’t make my job harder.”

“I know,” Adam looks down and breathes in and out slowly. He must take this chance. He won’t have another. He’s got to come clean about what he did. “Speaking of which, Jess… there’s more.”

Jesse lowers his hands and frowns deeply. “What?” he asks dryly.

Adam moistens his lips and decides it’s time to spill the beans. “I think they tested me, last night. After the hit, they took me to the base and locked me in this room for some time. Then Anderson came. The kid, Karofsky-Hummel, was with him.”

“Oh,” Jesse blinks, surprised, “Is he okay?”

“He’s completely mad, if you ask me,” Adam shrugs, “But other than that, yeah, _physically_ he’s okay.”

“Very well, we’ve got one good news, at least,” Jesse nods, “His parents will be glad to know.”

“Not if you tell them Anderson and him are married, now.”

Jesse pauses for a second. “Are you kidding me?”

“Couldn’t be more serious.”

“Shit.”

“And that’s not all,” Adam braces for the rest, “With them was a third boy, name’s Cody. Couldn’t get any surname, I only have a vague idea of his history and I couldn’t place him anywhere, geographically speaking. All I know is he was a whore for some time, but then Karofsky-Hummel reclaimed him for himself and Anderson took him off the street.”

“And this interests me how, exactly…?”

Adam swallows. “They made me swallow some pill and fuck him,” he says.

Once again, Jesse pauses. Then he utters in a low voice, “I literally _just_ asked you not to make my job harder.”

“I know, Jess, but--”

“No, there are no _but_s. I don’t care about Vanderbilt’s opinion, I’m extracting you right now.”

Adam looks at him silently for a while, and then sighs. “I’m sorry to put you in this position. I won’t hide from you that the thought of asking for an extraction crossed my mind, yesterday.”

“Then request it officially,” Jesse says, “Walk into the first police station and ask to meet with the captain, maybe she’ll listen to you.”

“She didn’t listen to _you_?”

“No,” Jesse sighs too, “When the kid was brought to the hospital, yesterday, and when he died after a few hours, I told her the situation wasn’t clear and probably it wasn’t safe any longer. I told her it might be wiser to extract you, but she refused.”

Adam wearily sits down on the edge of the bed. “If I was in a different position, I’d agree with her. I know I fucked up yesterday, but now I’ve got their trust. He put me to the test with the drugs and Cody, and then he asked me for help cleaning up the warehouse where the kid got killed, and I had to comply about all these things, but now I’m inside. Extracting me now would make it all useless.”

“We won’t be able to use any of the evidence you gather if you don’t stop fucking up, Walker!” Jesse insists, nervously, “And in any case I’m worried about you. If they watch you too closely you’re gonna be at risk. I can’t afford that.”

Adam looks up warily, focusing on Jesse’s distressed expression. Now he knows what this all is about. “Jess,” he says softly, “Nothing will happen to me. I promise.”

Adam’s not the first special agent Jesse plays the handler for. He used to partner with an older, more experienced agent, Alan Farewell, and they used to be partners not just in their jobs, but in their private life too.

Alan was killed during one of his undercover missions. He was recognized by one of the members of the criminal group he was infiltrating and he was immediately imprisoned, tortured, killed and thrown in a dump, where the FBI found him after a week since they last contact. There’s nothing Jesse could’ve done to prevent this from happening, of course, but he still blames himself for it. And, naturally enough, now he’s worried the same fate might occur to Adam too.

“You can’t know that.” Adam would’ve expected Jesse’s answer to be nervous, perhaps even irritated. It’s not, instead. It’s just sad. When he raises his eyes, Jesse’s less than a step away from him, standing in front of him, looking down at him with tender eyes and thin, pale lips pursed in a worried expression. “Listen to me very closely, Walker. I know you have some experience, but even though we’re the same age I have more. And I can tell you no matter how in control of the situation you think you are, you’re not. I can be, if you allow me to, because I have have a fuller, clearer picture. I can fight for you in the bureau, but you’ve got to fight for yourself on the streets, and to do that you must never feel like you’re safe, like there’s nothing bad that can happen to you. You _could_ die,” his voice breaks a little as he raises a hand and places it on Adam’s jaw for a half-aborted caress, “It happened to older, wiser and more experienced man, and it can happen to you too. Never forget that.”

Adam parts his lips to answer – something random, some other reassurance, possibly, but Jesse’s eyes offer him no escape, and he closes his mouth again. He lowers his eyes and unconsciously leans into Jesse’s touch for a second. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I don’t wanna make you worry. But trust me, I can handle this. I _can_,” he insists, looking back up at him. “Besides...”

“Besides _what_?”

Adam wonders for a moment if it’s wise to keep talking. Perhaps he shouldn’t be so frank with Jesse. But then, how is his handler supposed to fight for him in the bureau, if he doesn’t tell him everything? “...this kid,” he says then, “Cody. I’m worried about him.”

Jesse frowns, moving abruptly away from him. “You mean the one you fucked?”

“Yes,” Adam frowns too and, for some reason he himself can’t quite understand, he feels the need to justify himself, “But it’s not because of that. You don’t know how they’re treating him. He’s clearly confused, his head’s been filled with Anderson’s delirious ramblings and he can’t tell reality from fiction any longer. They used him like a prop with me. I would like to pull him out.”

“God, Adam, _please_,” Jesse groans, “Do you have any idea how many other boys and girls they might be exploiting like him?”

“No, he’s special, I can feel it,” Adam shakes his head, “If I take him away, I can undermine Anderson’s authority, I can break his bond with the Karofsky-Hummel kid. I’m sure of it.”

“_Come on_!” Jesse insists, throwing his arms up in the air, “Do you even hear yourself? Adam, please, don’t fall for this kid. Don’t fall for anyone while you’re undercover. It’s a rookie mistake. Are you a rookie?”

“No, Jess, but--”

“Then don’t act like one!” Jesse cuts his protest short. “Now, if you want me not to ask for an extraction officially, I won’t. But in exchange I want you to stop thinking about this boy right away. Don’t let him distract you. No doubt that’s the reason why they wanted you to fuck him to begin with.”

And it’s not like Adam can’t see that. He understands why Jesse would say so. But still – something in Cody’s eyes, in his behavior, in his words and in his faint, sweet voice, makes it impossible for him to let go of this thought.

If there’s one soul that deserves to be saved from this mess, that’s Cody’s. And he intends to do everything in his power to make it happen.

“Alright,” he says, though, because he knows Jesse deserves to be reassured, “I will stop.”

Jesse exhales, and finally sits down next to him, relieved. “Okay,” he offers him a tiny smile, “Now give me the location of the warehouse where the attack went down. At least I’ll have something to give to the captain, and a few more no-pressure days to understand the situation better and see how can I help you from the outside.”

Adam sighs, shrugging lightly. “I’ll give you the address,” he says, “But don’t expect to find anything in it.”

“I know, I just need something to bring back to Vanderbilt. Believe me, it’s better to have something useless than nothing at all.”

Back in his first years of service, Adam would’ve never agreed with such a statement. He used to be an idealist, through and through, an all-or-nothing kind of guy, and he still is, to an extent. But now he’s got a little more experience, enough to at least understand that he’s not in a kind of situation – or with the kind of people – that will allow him to leave the stage unharmed and completely victorious. He’ll have to lose something, he’ll have to destroy something, and he’ll have to live with the consequences of the damages he’s going to cause and that are going to be caused to him.

But if he manages to put an end to this mission having saved at least Cody, it’ll be all worth it.


End file.
